10.10.2014

What you hope in

Can you tell I'm a grad student by how long it's been since I last wrote? I can. Lame. So there's that – the whole back-to-school thing – and then there's the craziness of coordinating a conference for 2,500 people and traveling through 3 time zones to the total opposite side of the country to work like mad 24/7 and then fly back to a new-ish city to be a grad student again.

So yeah. I guess I've been a little busy.

One of my brilliant professors, the great Dan Allender, says what you hope in, you will bleed for.

I hope to be a great writer. But I guess I don't hope in it enough to bleed for it. Right now I just bleed for school. Because I also hope to finish grad school. I sincerely hope in a great many things, but I find myself having to be very selective about the things I practice.

Another of my professors asked, if practice is who we are becoming ... what are 2-5 things you practice? This made me want to be far more intentional about the things I practice. She challenged us to do one thing every day that feeds our soul.

So, I'm trying to practice feeding my soul.

I spent 2 blissful days with my family en route to Raleigh for the great conference. It was nice to see a familiar skyline and be with people who feed my soul.


Raleigh was the culmination of a year's worth of work for me and multiple years for many of our local members. What a gift to be able to share in the joy and goodness of the Spirit with 2,500 friends working in community development. I am privileged to be a part of such an incredible community.

I flew back to Seattle late. It was strange to be flying "home" to Seattle. I had to take a cab home, which felt even stranger. I felt a little like I was starting all over again, as a visitor in my now home-city. It still surprises me to drive over a bridge to downtown Seattle and see the Space Needle. I still kind of expect to see the Sears Tower. Since then I have felt the acute ache of loneliness. Granted, I am not actually alone. I have a wonderful roommate and a really lovely school community. But what I ache for is to be deeply known. Which I fully recognize comes with time. I imagine many of my school compadres feel the same ache. So this week I've been praying specifically for that, for all of us.

My aforementioned wonderful roommate has the hookup at Camp Casey on Whidbey Island, where we spent last weekend. It was truly a balm for the weary soul. We stayed a mere stroll from the water, surrounded by trees beginning to change, and witnessed the best sunset I've seen maybe ever.



The phenomena of visiting or living on an island is totally new to me, as a girl hailing from the land-locked midwest. Ferries and islands are a big thing in the PNW. And it's kind of great. Waiting for the ferry forces you to slow down a bit. A mere 2 hrs from Seattle, Whidbey Island felt like a haven.

We drove the long way around to get home so that we could go through Deception Pass, which I had no concept of until I saw it. It is this stunning part of the island that makes a sudden drop to the water. The water swirls frighteningly far below the greenish bridge. It is breathtaking.



I am so privileged to be in a place of such beauty. It lessens the ache.

Another thing my prof Dan Allender said in my Faith, Hope, & Love class has been ringing in my head ever since. He was talking about the nature of hope. He said hope is remembering the future. We have this promise: God has rescued before; He will rescue again.

This is something I believe we must remember and live into daily.
So wherever you, whatever story of tragedy, fear, love or apathy you may be living, know that he has rescued before and he will rescue again.

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