Last year I was a part of an art exhibit titled "The End of One is Just the Beginning of Another." I feel like then the things that are actually beginnings don't have to be so terrifying, because doesn't it follow that the beginning of something is just the end of something else? Somehow this is all still rather terrifying. But what gives, most great things in life are fairly frightening at one time or another.
Having just completed a "great thing in life," I know all about it. I recently returned from a four month stint in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil volunteering for a wonderful organization committed to living and serving amongst the poorest of the poor. I learned a lot about poverty, for one, about love and passion, about the Brasilian verve for life and churrasco, about community and family, about missing people here and missing people there, about home, about pineapple, about leaving, about the difference between being and doing, about who I am and what I'm doing.
Now, today, on this last day of the first month of this year, I am "home," learning about writing, homemade bread, why I was in Brasil, learning more about my own city and community, how I can "be" here, perfecting my favourite chocolate chip cookie recipe, figuring out how to make art about all I've seen and heard, celebrating joys, mourning losses, making the best damn chicken pot pie ever, and considering who I have been created to be and how to be better at that. I honestly don't know where I'm going from here, but maybe I don't have to. Maybe it's not so much about the next "big thing." Maybe the next "big thing" for me is actually a little thing. I guess I'm ok with that, so I'm here, writing and living, baking and creating. I know what I love. I know what I'm good at. And I know I am still terrified. But I figure, this is what you write about. Just what you know, what you wonder, what's happening. So let's just stick with that for now.
Here's to the beginning...